Forget "dying" - You're either living or dead

When Judy, who I have mentioned from time to time was given six months to live and is still going fine after thirty years, and I wrote our books ( one was originally called "Cancer and Hope" and is now called "The Healing Journey" and the other is "I Will Live Today"), we agreed that we wouldn't use the word dying. We weren't doing this because we were being "sensitive", but rather it was because we agreed that dying was a worthless classification. Dying is living with a focus on the end result, which in that case means we are all dying if all we focus on is the end. Of course you might be sick or injured or incapable of doing things you used to be able to do, but you are still living. When you aren't living anymore you will be dead and on to the next adventure.

Now that might sound like I am saying the obvious, but I don't think so. I have seen many, many people who are not doing well physically focus on "the end" and miss everything they could have taken in that might have helped their spirit. It's understandable. We worry about the future all the time, even when we are healthy. And let's face it, when people are seriously ill or injured the present sucks. There's tubes and pains and disappointments and fractured dreams and on and on. And there's no doubt about it, it's easy for someone who is feeling fine to say, "Oh just find the good things." In fact saying it glibly at that point is actually stupid, but that doesn't mean that their is no truth behind the statement. I have seen people find moments of respite and joy in the midst of really bad situations. They were not just fighting to live a longer life, but a better one - right now - even when things were going poorly.

Carve out moments for yourself, even if they last for only seconds, that resonate as joy within you. But let me warn you if you haven't already experienced it, if you are ill or injured and have been in a bad place emotionally and you try this, at first you might find that joyful moment but then have sadness quickly follow because you don't think you will have that moment much longer or many more times, or that you can't appreciate it like you used to when you were healthy. Let that feeling pass through you like crap through a goose, because that's what it is - crap. If you let it stay it will stink up your life worse than it is. And the nice thing about it is you are the one in charge of that - as hard as that might be to believe. Fight for that joy. If you are alive you can define your reality. Forget focusing on dying. We all will be dead someday. But that's someday. Just make sure you make these moments that you are alive today count. Let your friends and loved ones help you. I know. . . easier said than done, but as I like to say, "Difficult is not impossible. It's just difficult."