Rainbows Happen - Thoughts on Living and Dying

Repetition Deadens Awareness

The more I see you, the less I see you. If you are honest you know that that happens all of the time. There you are again sitting in the same chair for breakfast, sleeping on the same side of the bed. Pretty soon if I'm not careful I don't really see you there.

We drive the same way to work everyday, pretty soon we really don't see the surroundings. Somebody might ask you about the big construction project in your area. You don't even know what they are talking about even though you drive by there everyday. The only problem is you quit seeing things about five years ago.

When somebody says they know their spouse like the back of their hand, they are really saying that they don't look anymore. How many of you look at the back of your hand? The only time you probably look is when it itches. We start really looking at our loved ones when we find out they are sick or in danger.

On 9/11 what were the people doing who were in those building and on those planes? They were calling the people they loved. I'm sure that many of those people had been very good at telling their loved ones that they loved them and I'm sure that some of the people had not been so good at it. But there can be no doubt that when it became apparent that their lives were in jeopardy the intensity of their feelings for their loved ones increased dramatically.

Don't wait until you find out you or your loved one is sick or in danger. That's not a rule. It doesn't have to be melodramatic or a major expense. It can just be a touch or a brief comment or a quick call. Get in the habit of thinking renewal rather than repetition. Routines turn into ruts and the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Don't let your relationships fall into that grave.

Keeping your spirit alive through physical problems

I'm not very adept yet at understanding the blogging world. I did a few a year or two ago and then forgot about them. I am going to get out there again and thought I would republish some of my earlier ones so that someone might pick up on them now. I'm not sure if I'm being needlessly repetitious but oh well. My friend Judy Garrison, who was given six months to live over 30 years ago and is still doing fine, and I wrote a couple of books for people with serious illnesses or injuries. The book, "I Will Live Today," is a book of short affirmations for people to lock in on when they are struggling with illness or really any difficult situation. Much of what is in the book came out of not only what Judy learned from her own situation but what both of us learned by working with people in life threatening situations.

I then took some affirmations from the book as well as a few more I came up with and put some music behind it from Wagner. I have had many people tell me how much it has helped them keep going. It really is a spiritual approach to dealing with life, though as I say on my web site spiritual can mean many things to many people. I have done my best to keep it such that any person's belief system can benefit from this presentation unless he or she only wants to hear one thing only. If that is the case I probably don't have that much in common with you anyways. If you would like to see some thoughts on keeping your spirit alive while coping with serious illness, injury or just very stressful circumstances go to www.youtube.com and then put sctshep in the search box. A bunch of music things I did will come up including the one on dealing with serious illness.

Latest Power Choosing

I have worked for many years with people who have lost loved ones. I have learned a great deal from these people. Years ago I wrote a little book that I thought might be of use to someone going through a loss based on what I learned. But I knew that it needed some art or photography. About 10 years after I wrote the words I reconnected with some old friends, Chet and Agnes Barnes. They lost a daughter to cancer about 25 years ago. I had actually spoken a couple of times to a support group that they had helped start for parents. Agnes is also an incredible photographer. When I ran into them I knew immediately that she was the one to finish the book. Going to her house we were able to find from pictures she had already taken perfect matches for this book. It has been a labor of love for us. If you've lost a loved one, this might be helpful to you . (will open in new window)

If you're interested, the book is available for purchase on my website: MyStressDr.com under the Products page.

Listen to this

There is something to be said for peace.

Here is a piece I wrote and it's sung by one of my daughters Amelia. I hope you enjoy it.

The Journey

Heart Problems? No Problem

I am a speaker and I talk to all kinds of groups; businesses, schools, hospitals, as well as people in all kinds of situations; coping with loss, high stress, illnesses etc. I would often use my story that I referred to in my first blog about how people love to ride around with "s . . . happens" on their car window and feel like they have this great insight into life. I always say that it is true that "s. . . does happen." But the problem is that if you rode around with a sign that said "Rainbows Happen" those same people would say you were strange. Both are true. The challenge is in where you put your emphasis.

Now this can sound like every other "motivational" talk you have ever heard. What really made it different for me was when I talked about this concept to a group of people dealing with heart problems. Some had had heart attacks, some had congestive heart problems, etc. It was people in tough situations. They invited me back the next year and when I got to the hotel room a bunch of the participants were waiting for me, excited as little kids about to go on a field trip. They came up to me with glee saying, "Wait till you see what we've got. It's so cool."  When I went in the room their was a big table covered with campaign style buttons all of which said "Rainbows Happen" and they had a rainbow on them, but not a typical rainbow, but one of pastel colors that looked like a child had done it. It was very cool. These were people who refused to be beaten.

Understand, I've learned that some people interpret what I say in my presentations as "Oh just pretend everything is wonderful and nothing is wrong." Actually I think that is a stupid thing to think. If you are riding around in your car and hear a funny sound and say to yourself, "Oh everything is just fine. It's a pretty sound," it won't be long before you are sitting on the side of the road going, "My bad."

These people with heart problems couldn't have pretended there were no problems if they wanted to. Everyday reminded them of what they couldn't do that they used to be able to do. A couple of people died between my first and second presentation. What they were saying by making those buttons was that even though there was crud (it's easier to say that than go "s . . . " forever) in their lives they refused to let that crud dominate those lives and kill their spirit. Saying "Rainbows Happen" isn't a denial of problems. It's an affirmation of hope and strength. It's saying that if all life is, is getting through problems, it's not much of a life. The good life sees the beauty and celebrates it.

The good life is in being the rainbow.

www.mystressdr.com

Best to you

Scott

The First One

I am excited to finally get my first blog out there. I am always encouraging people to believe in their possibilities and it is extra fun when I actually listen to myself. I will be throwing out a few ideas to help readers deal with tough situations. I also will be throwing out some fun things for people and bringing other experts onto the blog to share their thoughts.

I always get a kick out of the people driving around with the sign that says s... happens. They act like they have this great insight into life. Actually they are right. S. . . does happen. The problem is not that I disagree. It's that if you rode around with a sign that said Rainbows Happen those people would go, "What a dork!" If you're going to believe that s. . . happens you have to believe Rainbows Happen. Not only do they happen, we can make them happen. This is not just happy talk. I have worked for years with people who had everything fall against them and they refused to be beaten. I wrote two books with a woman who was given 6 months to live 30 years ago, and she is fine today. So I know that Rainbows Happen and that we have incredible possibilities within us.